Our nursing story...
Jul. 19th, 2006 11:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bicrimElliot was 12 days overdue, induced with castor oil at home to prevent the medical induction my midwife scheduled for the next day. He was posterior, so he took awhile to get into a good position, but he was born in the hospital with a CNM vaginally with no pain meds. In retrospect, I would have pushed the midwife to delay the induction and let him come on his own, I think that might have solved his positioning problem. No tearing or episiotomy, which was nice. All in all, a pretty healthy, normal birth. After the birth, we saw that he had a 1 in 10,000 birth defect of the ear called "microtia", which means that he only developed one hearing ear, the other is just a peanut shaped bit of cartilage. This upset my family, but not me. I found my baby perfect.
I had prepared for breastfeeding by reading online and in books extensively, and by going to LLL meetings while pregnant. I brought my nursing pillow and "The Breastfeeding Book" by Dr. Sears with me to the hospital. I was educated and prepared. My breasts had not changed one iota during pregnancy, but I didn't think anything of it. He was on the breast within 2-3 minutes of birth, and latched on right away and nursed well. He nursed so well in the first 24 hours that he passed all of his mecconium that first day, 5 big diaperfuls. I used the book and taught him and me to latch correctly. No pain, just bliss.
The first sign that something wasn't right came when we got home. My milk wasn't "coming in" like the books and my mom said it would. Or maybe it had--the drops I could see were milky now, not the yellow of the colostrum. But they hadn't increased in volume. I didn't get engorged, my breasts were still my pre-pregnancy size, and I didn't understand why. He was nursing around the clock, crying in hunger. I nursed and nursed, and pumped between nursings while he slept for a few minutes. I got drops out of the pump, which we gave him in a syringe. No artificial nipples for my baby!
This went on for the first week. His diaper count was borderline, the red rust in them made me panicky. I was educated, I knew this meant he wasn't getting enough to eat. But why? I was doing everything right- no bottles, no pacifiers, no formula, cosleeping, babywearing, and nursing constantly. I started calling my LLL leader, then calling lactation consultants. The first two LCs watched me nurse and said the latch was great, I was doing everything right, it would sort itself out. This temporarily buoyed my flagging spirits. Then we went for the weight check at the pediatrician. He was still below birth weight. They were supportive of nursing, they said to keep it up and come back in three days. We did. He hadn't gained an ounce. They started to get nervous, but told me to keep it up and come back after the weekend. Still no gain, and now his soft spot looked sunken. They sent us with scripts to draw blood to see if he had some sort of disorder that was keeping him from gaining, and for an ultrasound of his abdomen, to see if there were any other abnormalities to go along with his ear. I was hysterical, crying and exhausted, determined to keep breastfeeding exclusively. I was not going to risk his already compromised hearing with ear infections from formula, and I was not a quitter.
More LCs. Finally, one had a scale, and we did before and after weighings. In 45 minutes of nursing on both breasts, he only took 2/3 of an ounce of milk. He passed the suck test with flying colors--the problem was my supply. She said to try Reglan for a week. On her advice, my midwife prescribed it. I started the medication, feeling broken and so sad.
The peds called back the next day, telling me that they had held a whole-staff conference about my son, and had decided that I had to give him formula starting that night, or they would hospitalize the baby. They hinted that if I didn't comply they would call Child Protective Services. My husband came home from work to find me distraught. He called the office and made an appointment for us to go in the next day to talk before we supplemented.
I explained to the doctors that I had started the Reglan and that I was unwilling to give my baby formula. The woman we saw that day was a breastfeeding advocate. She referred us to a doctor, an Alicia Dermer, who specialized in nursing problems. She also, at my request, gave us a prescription for human milk from a milk bank. We saw Dr. Dermer, who ran tests on me and diagnosed low prolactin levels and hypoplastic breasts, probably caused by untreated hypothyroidism during puberty. She praised us for not giving up. Knowing what was wrong helped, but I was still miserable.
We started using milk bank milk in an SNS that week. I also switched from Reglan to Domperidone on Dr. Dermer's advice. It was hell learning to use the SNS, I hated it for the first month or so, even as it let me keep my baby exclusively breastfed.
With the domperidone and pumping after each feeding, I reached a 75% supply. This was augmented by the donor milk in the SNS. It took me another month of depression and misery before I worked through the grief of losing the breastfeeding relationship I thought I would have, and accepting the one that I had. By the time my son was 3 months old, I was better, emotionally. I learned to accept the SNS and enjoy nursing in spite of it.
We started solids at 6 months and used the donor milk until he was 8 months old, and the SNS with my pumped milk for a month after that. The last three months, from 9 months to a year, have been like heaven. Between my domperidone-induced supply and solids, we have enough. I feel like a "normal" nursing mom now. No equipment to lug around, no very expensive donor milk to buy, no SNS to clean, and,most importantly, I can really enjoy nursing my baby.
We still cosleep, and he still nurses at night, as well as on demand throughout the day. He is a happy, healthy, boobie-loving boy, and I credit breastmilk with a good part of that. His hearing in the "big" ear has been tested as normal, so it seems that he will learn to talk on time and without issue. I, at 12 months post-partum, have not gotten my period back, and I'm loving that!
Our future plans include extended nursing and hopefully, child led weaning. My supply issues may preclude tandem nursing, so we will take that as it comes. We have pushed back trying to conceive again so that Elliot has the full benefit of breastmilk for at least 2.5 years.
I am proud as I think of how far we have come in this most important relationship. I love what nursing my son against all odds has taught me-- I am not a quitter, I persevere in spite of difficulty, I am resilient. I am so grateful to my support system, my husband, who has been nothing but wonderful, my mom, who nursed me and set an example, my LLL leaders and group members, and my many mostly anonymous fellow breastfeeders online, who taught me to be passionate about breastfeeding. Thank you all. I hope that I can give back what has so generously been given to me.
Update: November 2006. Elliot is now 16 months old and still nursing day and night, though he has cut down overall nursing amount a bit. It is still a joy to be a "normal" breastfeeder, and it has been wonderful to help out other moms in my situation online and IRL.
Update: August 2007. Elliot is now two years old, and still nursing day and night, though we are working on the night! We have no plans to daytime wean, and he nurses anywhere from 3 times to 10 times during the day. I am helping other mamas through adopt-a-mom here on LJ, and through LLL. We are starting to think about TTC number two, and I am looking forward to potentially tandem nursing.
Update: July 2008. Elliot is turning three this month, and still nursing several times a day, though we have night weaned due to my pregnancy. I am due with number two next month, and we plan to tandem nurse, and are currently learning all we can about tandeming with low supply. I am now a LLL leader, and am loving helping other mamas to nurse their children.
Update: November 2008. Isaac Robert was born on August 20th, at home. Tandem nursing is going well, and my supply is better than ever--I take domperidone as well as some herbs every day, and am only needing a few ounces of donor milk a day for baby Izy. Elliot is down to nursing 2-3 times a day, for just a few minutes at a time.
Update: July 2009. Elliot is now four, and is nursing only at bedtime. Isaac will be one next month, so we have been tandem nursing for almost a year. I am enjoying my work with LLL, and my two sons!
Update: August 2010. Elliot just turned five, and Izy will be two in a few weeks. We are still tandem nursing, Elliot mostly just at bedtime and Isaac throughout the day and night. I never thought I would be nursing a Kindergartner! I am still a LLL Leader, and just took the exam to become an IBCLC. Amazing how nursing has now become part of my career!
Update: October 2010. I passed the exam, and am now an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant! Both boys still nursing.
Update: June 2011. Elliot has weaned, naturally, a month shy of six years old. We are very proud of him! Isaac is still nursing 4 times a day at almost three.
Update: May 2013. Issac has weaned at a bit more than 4 and a half years old. He will be starting school in September, and Elliot will be going into the Middle Class! My boys are getting so big! Barring any future babies, I am done nursing after nearing 8 years, with three years tandeming. I am working part time as a private practice IBCLC.
I had prepared for breastfeeding by reading online and in books extensively, and by going to LLL meetings while pregnant. I brought my nursing pillow and "The Breastfeeding Book" by Dr. Sears with me to the hospital. I was educated and prepared. My breasts had not changed one iota during pregnancy, but I didn't think anything of it. He was on the breast within 2-3 minutes of birth, and latched on right away and nursed well. He nursed so well in the first 24 hours that he passed all of his mecconium that first day, 5 big diaperfuls. I used the book and taught him and me to latch correctly. No pain, just bliss.
The first sign that something wasn't right came when we got home. My milk wasn't "coming in" like the books and my mom said it would. Or maybe it had--the drops I could see were milky now, not the yellow of the colostrum. But they hadn't increased in volume. I didn't get engorged, my breasts were still my pre-pregnancy size, and I didn't understand why. He was nursing around the clock, crying in hunger. I nursed and nursed, and pumped between nursings while he slept for a few minutes. I got drops out of the pump, which we gave him in a syringe. No artificial nipples for my baby!
This went on for the first week. His diaper count was borderline, the red rust in them made me panicky. I was educated, I knew this meant he wasn't getting enough to eat. But why? I was doing everything right- no bottles, no pacifiers, no formula, cosleeping, babywearing, and nursing constantly. I started calling my LLL leader, then calling lactation consultants. The first two LCs watched me nurse and said the latch was great, I was doing everything right, it would sort itself out. This temporarily buoyed my flagging spirits. Then we went for the weight check at the pediatrician. He was still below birth weight. They were supportive of nursing, they said to keep it up and come back in three days. We did. He hadn't gained an ounce. They started to get nervous, but told me to keep it up and come back after the weekend. Still no gain, and now his soft spot looked sunken. They sent us with scripts to draw blood to see if he had some sort of disorder that was keeping him from gaining, and for an ultrasound of his abdomen, to see if there were any other abnormalities to go along with his ear. I was hysterical, crying and exhausted, determined to keep breastfeeding exclusively. I was not going to risk his already compromised hearing with ear infections from formula, and I was not a quitter.
More LCs. Finally, one had a scale, and we did before and after weighings. In 45 minutes of nursing on both breasts, he only took 2/3 of an ounce of milk. He passed the suck test with flying colors--the problem was my supply. She said to try Reglan for a week. On her advice, my midwife prescribed it. I started the medication, feeling broken and so sad.
The peds called back the next day, telling me that they had held a whole-staff conference about my son, and had decided that I had to give him formula starting that night, or they would hospitalize the baby. They hinted that if I didn't comply they would call Child Protective Services. My husband came home from work to find me distraught. He called the office and made an appointment for us to go in the next day to talk before we supplemented.
I explained to the doctors that I had started the Reglan and that I was unwilling to give my baby formula. The woman we saw that day was a breastfeeding advocate. She referred us to a doctor, an Alicia Dermer, who specialized in nursing problems. She also, at my request, gave us a prescription for human milk from a milk bank. We saw Dr. Dermer, who ran tests on me and diagnosed low prolactin levels and hypoplastic breasts, probably caused by untreated hypothyroidism during puberty. She praised us for not giving up. Knowing what was wrong helped, but I was still miserable.
We started using milk bank milk in an SNS that week. I also switched from Reglan to Domperidone on Dr. Dermer's advice. It was hell learning to use the SNS, I hated it for the first month or so, even as it let me keep my baby exclusively breastfed.
With the domperidone and pumping after each feeding, I reached a 75% supply. This was augmented by the donor milk in the SNS. It took me another month of depression and misery before I worked through the grief of losing the breastfeeding relationship I thought I would have, and accepting the one that I had. By the time my son was 3 months old, I was better, emotionally. I learned to accept the SNS and enjoy nursing in spite of it.
We started solids at 6 months and used the donor milk until he was 8 months old, and the SNS with my pumped milk for a month after that. The last three months, from 9 months to a year, have been like heaven. Between my domperidone-induced supply and solids, we have enough. I feel like a "normal" nursing mom now. No equipment to lug around, no very expensive donor milk to buy, no SNS to clean, and,most importantly, I can really enjoy nursing my baby.
We still cosleep, and he still nurses at night, as well as on demand throughout the day. He is a happy, healthy, boobie-loving boy, and I credit breastmilk with a good part of that. His hearing in the "big" ear has been tested as normal, so it seems that he will learn to talk on time and without issue. I, at 12 months post-partum, have not gotten my period back, and I'm loving that!
Our future plans include extended nursing and hopefully, child led weaning. My supply issues may preclude tandem nursing, so we will take that as it comes. We have pushed back trying to conceive again so that Elliot has the full benefit of breastmilk for at least 2.5 years.
I am proud as I think of how far we have come in this most important relationship. I love what nursing my son against all odds has taught me-- I am not a quitter, I persevere in spite of difficulty, I am resilient. I am so grateful to my support system, my husband, who has been nothing but wonderful, my mom, who nursed me and set an example, my LLL leaders and group members, and my many mostly anonymous fellow breastfeeders online, who taught me to be passionate about breastfeeding. Thank you all. I hope that I can give back what has so generously been given to me.
Update: November 2006. Elliot is now 16 months old and still nursing day and night, though he has cut down overall nursing amount a bit. It is still a joy to be a "normal" breastfeeder, and it has been wonderful to help out other moms in my situation online and IRL.
Update: August 2007. Elliot is now two years old, and still nursing day and night, though we are working on the night! We have no plans to daytime wean, and he nurses anywhere from 3 times to 10 times during the day. I am helping other mamas through adopt-a-mom here on LJ, and through LLL. We are starting to think about TTC number two, and I am looking forward to potentially tandem nursing.
Update: July 2008. Elliot is turning three this month, and still nursing several times a day, though we have night weaned due to my pregnancy. I am due with number two next month, and we plan to tandem nurse, and are currently learning all we can about tandeming with low supply. I am now a LLL leader, and am loving helping other mamas to nurse their children.
Update: November 2008. Isaac Robert was born on August 20th, at home. Tandem nursing is going well, and my supply is better than ever--I take domperidone as well as some herbs every day, and am only needing a few ounces of donor milk a day for baby Izy. Elliot is down to nursing 2-3 times a day, for just a few minutes at a time.
Update: July 2009. Elliot is now four, and is nursing only at bedtime. Isaac will be one next month, so we have been tandem nursing for almost a year. I am enjoying my work with LLL, and my two sons!
Update: August 2010. Elliot just turned five, and Izy will be two in a few weeks. We are still tandem nursing, Elliot mostly just at bedtime and Isaac throughout the day and night. I never thought I would be nursing a Kindergartner! I am still a LLL Leader, and just took the exam to become an IBCLC. Amazing how nursing has now become part of my career!
Update: October 2010. I passed the exam, and am now an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant! Both boys still nursing.
Update: June 2011. Elliot has weaned, naturally, a month shy of six years old. We are very proud of him! Isaac is still nursing 4 times a day at almost three.
Update: May 2013. Issac has weaned at a bit more than 4 and a half years old. He will be starting school in September, and Elliot will be going into the Middle Class! My boys are getting so big! Barring any future babies, I am done nursing after nearing 8 years, with three years tandeming. I am working part time as a private practice IBCLC.
