I'm not a nursing Mom, so take this with a grain of salt, if you want.
At my own wedding, I offered the bridal suite for nursing to the person who attended with a nursing infant. It was "go ahead and use the bridal suite if you need to, for the baby." Which meant, if she's fussy and needs a break, or needs to be changed (because there was much more space there) or you need a quieter place than the reception to nurse, it's available. It wasn't a request for the nursing Mom to use the bridal suite, but an option, if needed. We'd even chosen the bridesmaid's dresses to make nursing as easy as possible in a bridesmaid's dress (two piece, with buttons in the front.)
I can understand where your brother in law is coming from, though I still think it's a weird request. He still may be rather concerned with the impression he makes on her family. At the same time, you're not likely to have a lot of interaction with her extended family after the wedding day, and if NIP has the potential to cause a problem for him after the wedding, that's something to think about. It's possible, that he's opting to make this request now rather than risk a scene at the wedding if anyone there does have a problem with what you're doing. You're not shy about stating your opinion, and well, it might be kind of unpleasant if you and Great Aunt Greta were to get into something over the baby at the breast.
It doesn't sound like he's got a problem with you nursing in general, or even in front of him, but you could obviously better assess how he handles that.
If you were asked not to NIP at the mall, or the beach or the library or something, I woud consider it an entirely different situation, which is weird. But this is more about respecting family-in the sense that your brother in law will be a part of her family, and I tend to feel differently about family than random strangers in a shopping mall.
Ultimately, you need to do what you feel is right. I can, however, see where your BIL is coming from...whether it's right or wrong of him to ask. Perhaps understanding more about why he's asking might help you make a decision?
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Date: 2006-08-01 10:17 pm (UTC)At my own wedding, I offered the bridal suite for nursing to the person who attended with a nursing infant. It was "go ahead and use the bridal suite if you need to, for the baby." Which meant, if she's fussy and needs a break, or needs to be changed (because there was much more space there) or you need a quieter place than the reception to nurse, it's available. It wasn't a request for the nursing Mom to use the bridal suite, but an option, if needed. We'd even chosen the bridesmaid's dresses to make nursing as easy as possible in a bridesmaid's dress (two piece, with buttons in the front.)
I can understand where your brother in law is coming from, though I still think it's a weird request. He still may be rather concerned with the impression he makes on her family. At the same time, you're not likely to have a lot of interaction with her extended family after the wedding day, and if NIP has the potential to cause a problem for him after the wedding, that's something to think about. It's possible, that he's opting to make this request now rather than risk a scene at the wedding if anyone there does have a problem with what you're doing. You're not shy about stating your opinion, and well, it might be kind of unpleasant if you and Great Aunt Greta were to get into something over the baby at the breast.
It doesn't sound like he's got a problem with you nursing in general, or even in front of him, but you could obviously better assess how he handles that.
If you were asked not to NIP at the mall, or the beach or the library or something, I woud consider it an entirely different situation, which is weird. But this is more about respecting family-in the sense that your brother in law will be a part of her family, and I tend to feel differently about family than random strangers in a shopping mall.
Ultimately, you need to do what you feel is right. I can, however, see where your BIL is coming from...whether it's right or wrong of him to ask. Perhaps understanding more about why he's asking might help you make a decision?