David is going on a business trip to CA in the morning and will be gone until Wednesday evening. This will be the longest time I've been alone with Elliot. I'm quite nervous about it, and David doesn't really want to hear my worries, so I thought I'd put them here for those of you who may understand.
1.I am scared of being alone in the house at night with the baby. The dog helps, but I have trouble sleeping when David isn't home and I'm afraid I won't sleep and I'll be exhausted trying to take care of Elliot.
2. I am scared of taking care of Elliot alone with no breaks for three days. I'm afraid he'll be awful, or in a mood, and I'll just lose it and not be able to handle him well. I know I put a lot of pressure on myself to be a good attached mom, but I'm showing signs of burnout already, so being without his daddy-help for that long is scary.
3. I'm afraid to ask for help from my friends. I don't know why, but since he's been born I have a lot more social anxiety than I used to, and it's really hard for me to say, "hey, can you come over and hang out with me and the baby and maybe watch him for an hour while I read or use the computer". Ever since I lost my best friend 2 years ago, I find it hard to make new ones.
4. I'm resentful that David gets to go to California and have a three day baby break and I have to pick up the slack. I know it's for work and it's not his fault, and I'm not angry with him, but the situation is NOT FAIR. Grumble.
I think that's it. If anyone has any love, support, or advice, I'd like to hear it!
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